generation gap

Calling the kids in to wash up for dinner tonight, I see Kiki has been playing with blue sidewalk chalk. Her hands and arms were covered with it and she had rubbed her face so it was blue as well.

Me: Kiki, did you color with some chalk?

Kiki: Blue chalk, momma!

Me: I can tell, you look like a smurf.

Muss: What's a smurf?

and then at dinner

Muss: Mama, there's something weird going on.

Me: What is it?

Muss: Well, during Spring Break last week, the days seemed to go really fast. The whole week went really fast. Then, today at school, the day went really slow. Slower than the Spring Break days.

Me: Welcome to reality, sweetie.

breakfast exchange

Boo decided he wanted toast for breakfast this morning

J: Boo, do you want white bread or brown bread?

Boo: uhhhh, white....because I'm white.

That he is. I think he is even pastier-white than his mother. And that is pretty white.

finally

Finally I am starting to feel better. I haven't been out of commission like this for as long as I can remember. It's like I had mono or something (but I didn't) and I have just been tired. Like I-can't-go-on-another-minute tired. Really tired. And I am still having coughing attacks like a 3-pack-a-day smoker (but I'm not). I am still using an inhaler like an asthmatic (but I'm not). But this week, I was able to take the kids to the zoo. AND WALK AROUND. Walk around for more than 5 minutes without needing to sit down and take a breather. And hack up another lung (how many are in there anyway because I'm almost sure I have hacked them all up). I am not at full speed, but I am better. That's a start at least.

So after walking around the zoo for 2 hours, I took the Muss to her tennis lesson. Thank the heavens above that Kiki fell asleep on the way there because I could not have chased her around the tennis center for an hour without losing my mind (and yet another lung). So the Muss had her lesson, Boo played with the siblings of one of the Muss' tennis mates and Kiki slept on my lap while I caught up with another mom who had a newborn (her 4th!). Then I got take-out on the way home because after all that activity, there would be no cooking for me. I was beat.

My mothering skills have not been stellar lately. I have been short with the kids, meals have been hap-hazard and I have probably let them play the Wii more than I should. Then there is the house. I was able to get it presentable enough to have a birthday party for the Muss on Sunday evening (a week late, mind you), but it was only clean on the surface. Barely.

Then there is the laundry. I have complained about laundry in the past, maybe not here, but my friends and family have heard my laundry woes. My issues with laundry are kind of like my own little personal inside joke. So inside, that I'm probably the only one who thinks it's hysterical, but whatever. Well, let me try to put my current laundry situation into words for you. We have a 3-bin hamper. You know, the kind that hypothetically lets one separate into different loads and once a particular bin is almost full to the top, then one would presumably put that load into the washer, then the dryer and then, if one were motivated, they would fold said laundry and put it in its home. That sounds so simple written out like that, doesn't it? Let's just say that this scenario has not happened here. In this home. In, well, let's just say, AWHILE. Like so long that those bins that are only as high as about my mid-thigh are piled up taller than I am. And I don't consider myself a vertically-challenged individual.

I am going to hang my head in shame now.

den of illness

Mid-point of our last week-end, J. hauled himself to the ER because he couldn't breathe. He has asthma and had caught some type super-virus that was kicking his hiney and, well, we figured the whole not-breathing-thing could not wait until Monday when our GP was back in his office. An x-ray, some blood tests and a couple of breathing treatments later he was back at home. Can't wait for that bill, we haven't even touched our deductible yet this year. So then he improved. A bit. Today wasn't necessarily a good day in the breathing department, but he is better.

In the meantime, the Muss and Boo have been hacking up little lungs this week. No fever or anything else of note, just the hack. I have some prescription cough meds I keep in the cupboard for just these instances and they seem to better a couple of days later.

All the while, I have been getting progressively sicker since Wednesday. I thought maybe some alcohol consumption Wednesday night with friends would kill the germs, but alas, it did not. So, by today, I am coughing up all kinds of colorful stuff accompanied by wheezing, fever, chills, a bit of nauseau (that was yesterday) and a headache that could fell a brachiosaurus.

Seriously, the kids, they are not quiet. They have no volume control, it is either at 11 or they are sleeping. They don't have the capability to be quiet. IT IS COMPLETELY FOREIGN TO THEM. Last night, I was not bucking for mother of the year. With the constant shhhhhh's and hushhhhhhhh's and for the love of pete, could you please be quiet's, well, let's just say they were not sorry that I was not home when they woke up this morning.

Oh, did I not mention that I didn't miss any work during this illness? Nope, well, not until today. I went in at 7a and left at 2:45p for a 3p doctor's appointment (wasn't supposed to be off until 4:30p). I succumbed to the modern medicine thing and got myself a couple of shots in my hiney, a couple of scripts and a free inhaler (WOOO!). That should all make another nice dent in the annual deductible. Except that free inhaler, of course. Why did I not miss work, you ask? Well, I was OUT with work people on Wednesday night, including my manager, and that would just look bad. You know what I mean, I know you do. Then today, it was a quest to win over the illness (I eventually did end up losing). When you talk on the phone all day, it sucks when you lose your voice. Doesn't work well at all.

So that is our week, it doesn't help that the Muss turns 7 tomorrow and we were supposed to have her family party. Luckily it was all family and very close friends and they are easy enough to reschedule (thanks family and friends).

Have you noticed anyone conspicuously absent from this post? Yep, Kiki. I may have mentioned before the issues we've had with Kiki and her lungs and somehow she has stayed well during this bout of family illness.

KNOCK.ON.WOOD.

at the dinner table

eating easter egg salad in whole wheat pitas with a side of grapes (yeah, I know, sounds more like lunch, but I'm lazy)

boo: last one done with dinner is a rotten egg

muss: HA! good one, boo

easter rush

I can't believe we made it! To church, that is. It is family tradition to attend the Sunrise Service at our church on Easter morning at 6:30am. Yes, you read that correctly, 6:30am. J. & I had our phone alarms set for 5:10am (mine) and 5:30am (his) so we would not oversleep. You can probably guess what happened. So at 5:58am J. wakes up to use his inhaler because he can't breathe. I have never been so happy for his asthma as I was yesterday because at that moment he happened to look at the clock before dozing back off and had one of those oh-shit-moments.

Yes, we need to leave the house by 6:15am to squeak in at the last moment and that was, oh, only 17 minutes from now.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

He quickly woke me up and somehow in my daze I got dressed and brushed my teeth, woke up the Muss, put make-up on, brushed and hair-sprayed my hair, the Muss' hair, sent her in the wake up Kiki while J. woke up Boo, brushed Boo's hair and told him to get dressed FAST. FRENZY of activity. The list goes on.

Let's pause for a brief moment and talk about Boo. Now here is a boy who cannot be rushed. Telling him to hurry is like telling a snail to hurry. He just can't ooze along amy faster. In fact, if you tell him to hurry he just short circuits and goes even slower. And he had to BUTTON. HIS. SHIRT. Thank heavens his shoes were velcro or my head would have promptly exploded into a million particles right there in the living room.

Now Kiki. Oh my. We had not done a trial run with the dress before that morning and that was an error in judgment on my part. Oh yes it was. I put the dress on her and she immediately began to writhe and scream DON'T LIKE IT! DON'T WANT THE DRESS, DON'T LIKE IT and then pulled and squirmed making it exceedingly difficult to button said dress. Then came the socks. She was no more pleased with the ruffled socks than she was with the dress and don't even get me started on the shoes. They were most definitely put on this earth to be a toddler torture device. Somehow I managed to get her dressed and ready despite all of this in about 3.5 minutes.

The Muss grabbed Easter hats and J. grabbed Boo's belt and we bolted out the door at 6:20am. The interstate was empty (shocking for a Sunday at 6:20am, I know), I put on my jewelry in the van and we made it to church at 6:32am.

Mighty impressive, I know. And we didn't look half bad.



Footnote: As I was lying on my sofa later in my food coma and exhausted from the day, my phone alarm went off at 5:10pm. Typical.